Parenting Challenge

Parenting Challenge

As an entrepreneur, one of the most important aspects of my venture is the emphasis on “My Business Local”. The concept of local business is not only about the physical location or geographical boundaries, but it’s also about the community that I serve and the relationships that I build within that community. My Business Local is an ethos, a strategy, and a mission statement rolled into one.

Families get caught in negative cycles of interacting. A negative interactional cycle is when parents and teens have the best of intentions for communicating with each other so that they can solve a problem, but their reactivity has the opposite effect of creating misunderstanding, hurt feelings and tension. Not to mention the problem still remains! In parent and teen relationships, parents really want, and need, to impart useful information and guidance.

When caught in a negative cycle with your teen however, this natural care can come across as demanding, critical, or overprotective. Teens, anxious for high levels of independence, are pretty reactive themselves and will struggle with big emotions when perceiving they won’t get what they want or their parents are trying to control them.

The truth is, parenting in the teen years is extremely important. Imagine you have a toddler who is about to put a fork in a light socket. You turn around just in time to dive your whole body in front of them to prevent certain disaster. Sure, there’s crying and protesting, but this is coming from a being who weighs about 25 lbs. and can be held and carried to safety.

Now add in 100 more pounds, a car, a new driver’s license, five other teenagers and numerous cell phones. Teens are just like the toddler facing impending doom but with infinitely more independence, opinions, ability to act, and attraction to novelty and risk added into the mix. If parents don’t have a relating strategy, that’s a whole lot of worry going out the door at night.

Teens need their parents to demonstrate that, as they head out into their world and are trusted with making decisions, the safe haven and secure base of home is available to them. They can ask their parents for help when they get in situations they were told precisely to avoid; because their parents are accessible, responsive, and engaged in their growth and well being. When parents foster positive cycles of parental accessibility, they support teen’s mature decision making and decrease risk.

Negative cycles of interaction block a teen’s accessibility to their parent. When teens perceive their parents don’t trust them, do they sit down with their parents and say: “Hey guys, when you don’t trust me, I feel really vulnerable and sad. I just wish you knew how important your trust in me is”. Of course not! Depending on how long parents and teens have been caught in a cycle, it’s more like this:

Parent: “Where are you going at this time of night?”

Teen: “I told you! To Maddy’s house to spend the night!”

Parent: “I don’t like your attitude. What makes you think you can just waltz out of here without asking first? You seem to have forgotten about cleaning your room!”

Teen: “Whatever. I told you what I was doing and where I was going. Why can’t you trust me?” And storms out. And goes to the party at Jake’s house and turns off their location.

Your Parenting Power: Disrupting the Negative Cycle with Your Teen

Whew! This is a really distressing place for both teens and parents. Read on for some simple tips on how to disrupt a negative cycle with your teenager.

  1. What you tend to DO when you and your teen are not connecting. Do you push? Try to teach a lesson? Insist you are right? What does your coparenting partner do?
  2. What you tend to FEEL at this time. Angry? Shocked? Unwanted? Helpless? Worried? How does your coparent feel?
  3. ¬†What do you SAY TO YOURSELF? Common ones are: “I don’t know what I’m doing.” “I’m losing it here.” ” I can’t let them get away with this.”
  4. How do you think your coparent sees you at this moment? It could be: Too lenient, too strict, out of control, uncaring, hurtful, a pushover.
  5. What is it you truly WANT for your teen when you are engaging with them about their life choices, needs, and plans? Most parents simply want their teens to be safe, happy, and have opportunities for a great future.

Putting it all together

When you have an idea about how you react, feel, and perceive the situation in these tough and disconnected parenting moments, you can think through how you would like this interaction to go. You can keep in mind what you truly want for them as they are headed out the door, and how you can effectively make that happen with them:

Parent: “Long time no see! Where are you headed?”

Teen: “I told you, I’m going to Maddy’s house to spend the night!”

Parent: “Sounds like fun. But I need more information before you go. Can you take some time to talk?”

Teen: “No way, I’m going to be late! This is so unfair!”

Parent: “I get it, but it’s too important that you have a good time because you’re safe and have a plan. I’m ready to listen whenever you are ready to talk”.

Teen: “FINE.”

Your empathy, willingness to validate emotions, and hold firm to your boundaries for safety and accountability are your parenting powers.

What if my coparent and I parent really differently?

It’s super important that you and your coparent have your own strategies for showing empathy, validation, and tolerance for parenting mistakes. If this is something you struggle with, check back here for more tips and conversation on how to be a deeply supportive coparent. Or ask for a 20 minute free consultation by reaching out to us at www.restoringrelationships.today!

Parenting Challenge

Parenting Challenge

As an entrepreneur, one of the most important aspects of my venture is the emphasis on “My Business Local”. The concept of local business is not only about the physical location or geographical boundaries, but it’s also about the community that I serve and the relationships that I build within that community. My Business Local is an ethos, a strategy, and a mission statement rolled into one.

Parenting Challenge

Parenting Challenge

As an entrepreneur, one of the most important aspects of my venture is the emphasis on “My Business Local”. The concept of local business is not only about the physical location or geographical boundaries, but it’s also about the community that I serve and the relationships that I build within that community. My Business Local is an ethos, a strategy, and a mission statement rolled into one.

Parenting Challenge

Parenting Challenge

As an entrepreneur, one of the most important aspects of my venture is the emphasis on “My Business Local”. The concept of local business is not only about the physical location or geographical boundaries, but it’s also about the community that I serve and the relationships that I build within that community. My Business Local is an ethos, a strategy, and a mission statement rolled into one.

Parenting Challenge

Parenting Challenge

As an entrepreneur, one of the most important aspects of my venture is the emphasis on “My Business Local”. The concept of local business is not only about the physical location or geographical boundaries, but it’s also about the community that I serve and the relationships that I build within that community. My Business Local is an ethos, a strategy, and a mission statement rolled into one.

Parenting Challenge

Parenting Challenge

As an entrepreneur, one of the most important aspects of my venture is the emphasis on “My Business Local”. The concept of local business is not only about the physical location or geographical boundaries, but it’s also about the community that I serve and the relationships that I build within that community. My Business Local is an ethos, a strategy, and a mission statement rolled into one.

Parenting Challenge

Parenting Challenge

As an entrepreneur, one of the most important aspects of my venture is the emphasis on “My Business Local”. The concept of local business is not only about the physical location or geographical boundaries, but it’s also about the community that I serve and the relationships that I build within that community. My Business Local is an ethos, a strategy, and a mission statement rolled into one.

Parenting Challenge

Parenting Challenge

As an entrepreneur, one of the most important aspects of my venture is the emphasis on “My Business Local”. The concept of local business is not only about the physical location or geographical boundaries, but it’s also about the community that I serve and the relationships that I build within that community. My Business Local is an ethos, a strategy, and a mission statement rolled into one.

Parenting Challenge

Parenting Challenge

As an entrepreneur, one of the most important aspects of my venture is the emphasis on “My Business Local”. The concept of local business is not only about the physical location or geographical boundaries, but it’s also about the community that I serve and the relationships that I build within that community. My Business Local is an ethos, a strategy, and a mission statement rolled into one.

Parenting Challenge

Parenting Challenge

As an entrepreneur, one of the most important aspects of my venture is the emphasis on “My Business Local”. The concept of local business is not only about the physical location or geographical boundaries, but it’s also about the community that I serve and the relationships that I build within that community. My Business Local is an ethos, a strategy, and a mission statement rolled into one.Restoring relationships
Tuition Centre